Texting when drunk is never a good idea. Even when the intentions are positive, more often than not it ends in disaster. Alcohol gives us the confidence to say things we would never normally say. The consequences of these drunk text messages are usually massive and can lead to all kinds of drama with your partner, friends, and family.
While the result of drunk texting can be devastating, it can also be quite amusing. The internet is full of hilarious examples of people shooting drunken text messages that are more funny than hurtful. Some result in witty or disappointing responses from the recipient.
Below are some of the best drunk texts that we have found on the networks. We have tried to find texts that are both hysterical and respectful. None of these texts are mean or hurtful, which can often be the case when people text drunk. They’re all good-natured pranks that will make you giggle and make sure you never text drunk again.
1. I wasn’t that drunk. i drove home
How lost was this guy? It’s one thing to not remember driving home, but it’s another to think you dreamed what really happened.
2. Celebrating grandma’s birthday
This young woman celebrated her grandmother’s 88th birthday by sending her this drunk message. As you can see from the answer, it was probably not a good idea. Grandma wasn’t impressed.
3. When you reply to your own text
You have had to have had more than one drink for this to happen. It’s hard to imagine how drunk a person would have to be to answer themselves, but as you can see, it really happened.
4. Not all cops are bad
Can you imagine waking up to this message? This guy must be so sorry he had such a great night that he had to be taken home by the police. Also, repeatedly telling them you’re not a terrorist is a weird topic of conversation.
5. Tampon ghosts
I’m not sure tampons look like ghosts, but this text message disagrees. While it wasn’t actually sent during a big night out, it does reveal what happened when one person had too much alcohol.
6. It is not the right one
Sometimes it takes a big night of drinking to realize the true feelings you have for someone. Sharing that in a drunk text is not recommended unless it’s a little funny like this.
7. When mom worries about money
This is not the response you would expect to get from a mother after receiving this type of text message. Come on mom!
8. Girl, you got the wrong number
Some of the best drunk texting comes from people texting the wrong number. Imagine receiving a message like this. Full of typographical errors and almost illegible. I do love the witty response at the end though.
9. Look for Moana on PornHub
Here’s hoping the mother of this drunken courier hasn’t gone ahead with the search. She might have been very surprised by what she found.
10. I am Batman!
This guy must have a very understanding girlfriend. There aren’t many women who would put up with random text messages like this in the middle of the night. It’s a fun drunk text though.
11. Me 2 Mom
Who else has a mom who likes wine and likes to start texting drunk? This conversation could have gone downhill quickly, but fortunately the son or daughter was not offended by the text.
12. This guy needs help.
There are so many questions about this text. Why was he dressed as a wolf? What is the reason he is eating chow mein by himself? Why is he talking to himself? This drunk sounds like someone who has an alcohol problem, as the restaurant employee explains. Problematic drinking is no laughing matter, but there’s a chance this guy had a great night and it’s not like that all the time.
13. Million Dollar Idea
You always come up with good ideas when you are drunk, although this idea sounds very familiar to you. Grand Theft Auto with horses… Sounds like red dead redemption. Maybe drunk texting doesn’t always pan out with new ideas, especially for this guy who thinks his bank account is about to quadruple.
14. Cheese fries are always good.
This funny text chain between a drunk person and a member of BooHoo’s support team is wonderfully sincere. No one knows why this person is texting customer service at 2am, but it’s a great text exchange that makes you wish everyone was so nice when they were drunk. You just know that Abul would make a fantastic friend in the real world too.
15. Am I a dragon?
This drunken text exchange is hilarious. This person got stuck in vodka (better than whiskey) and now thinks he is a dragon. Someone’s been looking too long game of Thrones.
16. Mom loves to drink
Why do moms always seem to be the ones texting drunk? This lady doesn’t even remember sending her son a picture of herself, she’s so out of it. She’s lucky she didn’t submit any other personal information that might be embarrassing to her. This is why he should stay away from her phone when he’s drinking.
17. When drinking is a mistake
Getting drunk always seems like fun at the time. It is the hangover that reminds you that playing a drinking game or drinking too many alcoholic beverages can have a negative impact. It can also lead to drunk texting, and the texts above show the good and bad of drinking.
18. We need to see Titanic
When you drunkenly text your family members in a group text telling them you need to organize a Titanic viewing party Well, it beats drunken dialing or a phone call.
19. How not to deal with problems
When you need a little liquid courage before having a serious talk with your partner. It’s not the worst thing you could do, but it will probably lead to a drunk text or two that could reveal information you don’t want.
20. Text message confusion
When you’re drunk text the wrong friend. At least it wasn’t anything horrible, with old friend Dean apparently fine with the confusion. This type of text message exchange is very common. It’s very easy to accidentally send a message to the wrong number, especially when you’ve had a few colds. Just be aware of who you’re messaging and what you’re saying, otherwise you could end up on a list like this.